Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
