I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
