I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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