Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
