I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
