that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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