My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
