...so i touched it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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