perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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