I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
