I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
