i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize