i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
