a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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