Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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