Someone shit on the floor
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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