That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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