she kept yelling 'call me bella'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize