Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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