If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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