he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NoShamevember. You game?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
