So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
