P.S. I can't hear my feet
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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