I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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