I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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