Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
