What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
