Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Rumble strips road head = magical
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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