Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
