Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
