i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
