Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
