he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
