Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
