happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
