erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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