Where is the hickey?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
