Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
