Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
