Don't you send me to vm
D3 body, D1 cock
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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