i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
