no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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