Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
