Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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