i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
