that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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