Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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