Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize