This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
