Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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