She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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