Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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