Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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