i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
