No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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