no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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