we're blogging at a bar
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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