Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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