Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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