so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
