the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
