My room smells like vodka and shame
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
