I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
