how can u be prego again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
