Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
