Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
